OPENING TIPS - Part I

The first days of law school can be filled with stress and anxiety. If you do not have ready access to certain recreational drugs, here are some useful tips:

1. Every entering class has a student or two who will always raise their hand when the professor poses a question. This person is engaged in some type of Socratic-Masochistic self-flagellation. Do not be that person. If you do not know who that person is, it's you.

2. Numerous companies publish subject aids akin to "Torts for Dummies" or "The Idiots Guide to Contracts." Do not bring those to class. If you do, do not display them prominently before the professor.

3. Never lament that a decision is "unfair". Case law is about consistency rather than fairness.

4. Never discuss exam questions immediately following an exam. Never discuss grades. Discussing grades is like discussing salary: it's just bad form.

5. Don't ask too many questions.

6. Finally, there are few "answers" in law school. Yes, occasionally you'll run across actual black letter law. For the most part, law school class time is about identifying issues and applying them to an often vague law or standard. It's about advocating people and a good lawyer can argue both sides. Indeed, a good lawyer will know not only the strengths of his or her case, but the strength of the opponents case.

Keep the sand out of your weapons. Keep those actions clear. I'll see you on the beach.

SO YOU WANT TO BE A LAWYER

John Marshall, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Clarence Darrow, Aaron Burr, Raymond Burr, Alexander Hamilton, Linda Hamilton, Hamilton Fish, Fish Cakes, Birthday Cakes, Jackie Chiles, Jackie Mason, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sherlock Holmes, Tom Hagen; the inner circle of the country's greatest legal minds; your idols, your inspiration! And, of course, there's money too.

Welcome to the wonderful world of law and Dante's tenth Circle of Hell.

Stockton & Tweed, adolescent purveyors of mindless bantor that allegedly passes for humor, are, of course, lawyers. That's right, barristers, soliciters, attorneys at flaw we be. Don't expect to speak with us without getting a bill, and don't expect us to care about anything - because its all arguable or negotiable to us.

Having been through law school and practiced law (legally) for a number of years, we decided it was appropriate for us to give something back; to help those considering a career in law, about to attend law school, in the midst of law school or about to embark on a legal career. Also, we can claim this as pro bono work at our local bars.

So, if you're out practicing, about to start or just interested, come join us, Stockton, Esquire and Tweed, Esquire as we recollect our experiences and provide some advice for those that follow. Between us, as lawyers, interns or clerks, we have worked for judges, a prosecutor's office, legal aid, as practicing litigators, as a business lawyer and as a transactional lawyer. And neither of us has been sued yet!

Read on, so that you can understand why Stockton & Tweed say: "the law is like humidity."